On convictions

As I have gotten older, I have found that some of my convictions have softened with a growing awareness I feel about all of the things that I do not know, in some cases, cannot know. I have been more comfortable saying those words: “I don’t know.” On the one hand, I worry that if I lose convictions, my life will feel tepid. It will feel like I am not really alive, or that I don’t really believe in anything. But on the other, I feel a bit of relief. Because losing some of my convictions has meant that I’m less exhausted by the disappointment I have felt when the world does not act the way I had wished it would.